Today, the number of divorces in many countries of the world significantly exceeds the number of marriages. One of the main causes of divorce is domestic violence.
Beats - then love? We will deal with this issue.
Beats - then love? Stereotype from the past
Our grandmothers also said that "rubbish from the hut" should not be taken out. You should not tell anyone that there are quarrels, bickering in your house, that someone is dissatisfied with something. In the old days, a man really took the place of the head of the family and was responsible for her future.
Today, such a concept as a “happy marriage” has become an almost impossible task for many. One reason for this is domestic violence. We will not go into sad statistics, we’ll better figure out how to deal with the problem and is it worth it?
Hitting means love - this is a catch phrase of past generations. Which scared, and said that everything is possible in marriage. But today the world has changed and each of the partners has the right to choose their own future. Why knead him with violence and fear.
Does it mean love, or victim syndrome?
Today, from all sides you can hear how women complain that men have ceased to fulfill their basic function of earner and defender in the family. They shifted more and more responsibilities to the woman's fragile shoulders. At the same time, many who complain do not break the relationship. They are used to suffering in relationships and complaining about life.
Such a comfort zone, from which it is quite difficult to get out. Over time, such a lifestyle forms a victim’s syndrome in a woman, and she herself becomes a catalyst for a man’s aggressive behavior. Why is this happening:
• A woman does not feel satisfaction without suffering;
• She thus attracts the attention of strangers who pity her;
• She thus attracts the attention of a man;
• It provokes aggression on the part of a man because of a stable desire to break off relations.
Of course, not every quarrel ends in violence. But, even a small push in the back, a slap in the face is already violence. Over time, a woman adapts to a similar situation and requires more and more attention. She delves into suffering and begins to adore her tyrant. Provoking a man, thereby, to even greater violence.
Beats - then love? Altered conditions and domestic violence
Often, family violence occurs in those families in which spouses allow themselves to drink and use other stimulants. Drinking family violence has the most serious consequences for spouses. Starting from severe bodily injury, ending with a fatal outcome.
If the partner has repeatedly allowed himself to raise his hand to his beloved, then in an altered state he will do this automatically, out of habit. The catalyst for such a reaction can be any harsh word of a woman addressed to a man, any of her unusual behavior. Predicting the behavior of a person under the influence of alcohol is very difficult.
Couples who have experienced violence in this state are urged to prioritize. Determine for both partners what is more important. Drinking, having fun, or living together without violence?
It so happens that the partner in every way justifies his behavior, does not admit his direct guilt and does not want to change anything in himself. In this case, a woman should reconsider the format of relations with a partner and protect herself from physical abuse.
Beats - then love? Children suffer from domestic violence
Psychologists argue that it is the fear of loneliness that does not allow families in which the fact of violence has occurred to sever relations. Fear of losing such a lasting and familiar union. It doesn’t matter if he brings happiness to both. The main thing is that it exists.
According to statistics, the fact of the occurrence of domestic violence is not affected by the long-standing relationship. Violence can occur both in newly created relationships and in multi-year alliances.
Unfortunately, children are increasingly directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence. They become victims of tyrant fathers who splash out remnants of anger on children. Often teens stand up for their mother and become a victim of severe beatings. In such cases, it is worth putting the priority of preserving the life and health of the child in the first place. And if a man does not understand this - there is a need to end such a relationship.
Beats - then love? Getting rid of relationships? Or from violence?
The reasons why conflicts arise in families with the use of violence can be divided into several groups:
• Household;
• External objective;
• External subjective;
• Provoked by mental disorders;
• Provoked by the woman herself.
To everyday life are the difficulties of a financial plan that a woman does not share. Constant requests for help in domestic matters, which, in the opinion of the man, are unfounded. Of course, domestic conflict does not always turn into an act of violence against a woman. But most often this is what happens.
The unstable psyche of a man, his lowered self-esteem - provoke him to violence. External objective factors are factors that can trigger a neurosis, or depression in a man. It can be problems with work, finances, communication with people. And if a woman does not share these problems with a man, a family conflict is possible, which will soon develop into an act of violence.
External subjective factors are often gossip and denunciations of others, which provoke a man to distrust and jealousy. Jealousy can also provoke the woman herself, flirting with other men, spending time in their company.
Psychologists advise treating this problem comprehensively:
• Understand the causes of conflicts in the pair;
• Highlight and eliminate fears and phobias of partners;
• Use various psychological practices of conflict resolution;
• In difficult cases - they recommend that the partner undergo a course of psychological treatment or rehabilitation.
Beats - then love? Healthy relationships are possible without violence - keep this in mind!
