Falling in love, people at some point begin to consider themselves as one, later they begin to live together, get married. And at this stage, many questions arise about the personal space of men and women.
Each person is a separate person, and no matter how great the feeling of love for a partner is, there are boundaries of personal space beyond which one should not cross. However, at first, a couple in love often thinks that they will be able to spend together every second, share all their impressions, secrets, erase the boundaries between personal and general. The comprehensive word “WE” appears: “we are going to visit”, “we, perhaps, will not go with you”, “we now have one page for two from the social network”.
However, as practice shows, after a fairly short time, one of the partners begins to suffer from constant interference in his space, he begins to yearn for his “I”, that same “I”, which is used to having her innermost thoughts, her little secrets, her personal preferences.
To tell where personal space begins and where it is not worth it to “climb” even for a husband or wife is difficult, it depends on a lot, however, there are several general points on which there are disagreements:
- Friends.
It is worth remembering that in addition to you, your partner still has close people, for example friends. And it is quite natural if your soulmate suddenly wants to spend an evening with friends without you or does not want to talk about the topic of a telephone conversation with a friend. There can be many reasons, and sometimes, even endlessly trying to find out, you won’t find out what your partner talked about at a meeting with his friends or what he talked with a friend over the phone about “almost half an hour”. Of course, you can ask how he spent time without you, but do not insist if you do not want to report it. Perhaps this is difficult to understand, because you are used to sharing everything with each other. But, believe me, leaving your beloved a little “air”, you will make him appreciate you even more for understanding.
Here, for example, the opinion of one of the readers of our portal:
“My husband and I have a democratic family and everyone has their own personal space, despite the fact that we try to spend every free minute together. I know my husband’s friends, we talked and families walked with them. If the meeting format is маль bachelor’s, then I refuse to go. Let them rest and gossip about theirs. My husband also knows my friends, but we are not friends as families, that's why we always meet only as a female team. It turns out that everyone has their own company ... "
- Social networks.
Who doesn’t have an account on social networks? They judge a person by him, by the posted "status" they understand whether he is in any relationship, etc. People who are passionate about communicating on social networks, as a rule, have many virtual friends. That is why jealous or jealous women require access to the page from their soulmate in order to control communication, to understand "with whom he corresponded so, and when I approach, he turns the page". Here the situations can be so different that it is not possible to give advice on each of them.
But the main ones, nevertheless, are listed. Firstly, correspondence can contain so confidential information that it can concern only two people and the second, alas, maybe not you. This does not mean that you are not appreciated or loved. This suggests that you and your young man are not Siamese twins. You will still be told exactly as much as you need, and if you still achieve the desired "truth", your personal attitude may change. You need it? And would you be pleased if during your communication with a girlfriend or workmate (classmate, fellow student, etc.) someone stood and read correspondence? Answer "yes, please, I have nothing to hide" will not do. Since there is no truth in it, there is deceit. If you want to discuss your young man with your girlfriend, will you invite him to read the correspondence?
Opinions of our regular readers:
"We don’t know each other’s passwords, we don’t check, we don’t crack. We trust each other! We have saved passwords, that's why I can, and he can just open the page and find out everything. Personally, I can say that I'm absolutely not interested crawl onto his page because my husband is not my property and may have secrets from me if he wants to ... "
"There were no problems. Social networks were always open. Telephones - please. Only none of us needed to climb to watch, check, etc. This is not a matter of personal space, but of trust, I think."
"We mostly sit on social networks because I have Internet at work, but my husband never asked me for a password from Odnoklassniki or Vkontakte. And why should he read my gossip with friends?"
And yet, when the passion for social networks goes beyond all boundaries, if you see that it’s more interesting for a person to spend hours chatting with people familiar to him than to spend time with you, you should think about the level of your relationship.
- 3. Family relationships.
Even when you create a young family with a person, the “old” family (parents, sisters, brothers, etc.) remains with you. No need to get into family quarrels, problems, comment on the actions of certain relatives, because, as a rule, this is perceived as an invasion of personal space.
From all of the above, it turns out that it is not necessary to penetrate into the personal space of a person, but it is also not worth giving complete freedom. Only a single person is completely free. If you are in a relationship, that is, restrictions, you have to sacrifice something. Complete freedom - shows indifference on the part of the partner, which leads to a sense of uselessness, loss of trust and complete cooling off to each other.
